I'm BACK

Alright here we go. I have spent the last year loving, laughing, crying, worrying, dreaming, texting, calling, and giving into a relationship that left me here. Surprisingly, this is a great place to be. I'll spare you the self-pity moments for now and say that now I cry less than when I was with him. I have had one constant hope since I was dumped via phone call that I have yet to share. My sister told me in the summer that I was gone. The independent, happy, carefree little sister she knew was somewhere lost in a new world of stresses. I stood on my front porch with the phone held to my ear and could only agree. I did nothing about this because I still found myself completely wrapped up in his world. He pushed me out of his world and I didn't want to leave, but I quickly found the exit and realized I was on the other side of the door. I hoped and hoped 3 people in particular could see this. First, my mom. She deserves to have a happy daughter and she alone was enough reason for me to smile and mean it. The second person was my sister. I craved for her to see a better side of her little sister to come back. Hearing those words would reassure me in my weak moments that I'm better now. She brought this subject up last night and that allowed me to see him today and honestly tell him I'm loving life. Of course I must include Rachel. I can be a real friend to her now. I don't have to ask her to understand why I'm leaving every time I walk out the door and I don't have to fill her time with pointless boy stories. I get to make girly memories without a hint of Chris for the first time since I've been at Truman. I'm starting over and God has answered years of prayer. He has ripped another guy out of my life and didn't make me be the one to make the decision to say goodbye.