Guess What?!

I get to go to college with one of my closest friends. does life get much better? don't think so!

Satisfied with Settling in

Tonight I had a plan. In as many words as it took I was going to describe in great detail my excitement about going to college next year. Not just any college, but Truman! But, I can't write about that tonight. As much as I'm ready to get out of this town and find new adventures, this week I've rediscovered the importance of family. It sounds cliché, but I'm in this small town, with my small family, and for now there is nowhere else I'd rather be. My grandpa died Tuesday night. It was unexpected...I thought he was the healthy one in my family. I've never watched anyone die before. When the medicine stopped being administered we were told that it would only be seconds before he passed...but my grandpa fought for 45 minutes. Watching his gaze fixed on every family member, I knew what kept him fighting. After flat lining multiple times, he came back with a deep breath if even a hand was laid on him. He held on for his family. He waited for everyone to come and say goodbye.

Maybe tomorrow I can write about my adventures to come with college in my near future. For now I'm going to cheese it up and love every moment of being surrounded by my family because I'm not ready to say goodbye.

Celebrating Mediocrity!

Today I heard a wonderful quote..."celebrate mediocrity". While our young generation is encouraged to "shoot for the stars", I think it's the mediocre moments in life that show potential and deserve complete celebration. For example, at this very moment I have by my side a bass guitar. For about the past 2 hours I have been trying to learn how exactly to rock this bass like the kids on School of Rock. The goal was to be an instant star, but i'm not even, well, good. Instead I've found a quick and easy way to get calloused fingers and a sore wrist. BUT I have become something completely new..and mediocre...and in that I am completely satisfied. Shall we celebrate?

I want to go to college

My half days at school continue to seem longer and looonger everyday. I'm usually picking Zoe (my sister's dog) hair off my shirt/jacket 1st hr...2nd hr I doodle...3rd hr I stare at a Spanish speaking teacher and classroom (often i can't even remember the ENGLISH words to "can I get a drink" aka "I need to escape")...4th hr I sit and discover Pryor's new gadgets in the chaos of her corner/desk/shelves...5th hr I simply want to weep. I play cello. love it. but orchestra..the songs can only be described as brutal. One of the pieces is called "Summer" and that only depresses me because I start to dream of summer then look out the windows and see brown slush mush stuff in the parking lot..the remnants of once white flakes falling from the sky.

ALSO, my parents forgot I was in the house this morning and failed to wake me up for school. Just forgot, like poof, I was erased from their memory. I awoke to "Bruce what about Kathryn?" "oh, she's in there (referring to my room)" "Yeah, I know..we didn't get her up!"

My sister is leaving, my parents mentally think I'm gone...so why am I still here?

OH AND have I mentioned i'm going to TRUMAN? Oh man am I excited. I'm pretty sure college is gonna be the shiznit

bucket list

what I shall do with my life...

1. play cello on the streets of Chicago

2. get a henna tattoo and scare my dear father

3. ride down a flight of stairs on a mattress (as seen on princess diaries)

4. write a book...or 2

5. get those books published

6. become organized

7. fall in love...then marry my prince charming

8. move somewhere without a plan

9. foster at least one teen

10. turn the henna into a real tat

11. go to Ireland

12. take a road trip with an RV filled with friends

13. ride a motorcycle

14. go to a ball

15. travel somewhere far, where Jesus has never been mentioned, and tell of who He is

16. dance ridiculously

17. never stop adding to this list

ahh how I love to dream

becoming a barbarian

Around the time I started reading The Barbarian Way, my life started changing. First, I found out that my sister might be moving, which began a big change for my whole family. But, the other change began to happen within me. Because of my decision to go to a secular school next year, I have found a new passion to discover, love, and minister God. A few weeks later I began The Barbarian Way. Throughout the book I feel a message of frustration with the church was relayed due to watered down practices and a “civilized faith”. Immediately I fell in love with the subject because I have dealt with the same frustrations. I have a passion to go into the world, yet have seen the church sit back and watch or ineffectively judge peoples’ hearts. However, I had tried to put all of that aside a couple weeks before reading this book because I felt called to rediscover and respect the value of the church. While a strong message was given to Christians in how to step out of the church and become a barbarian, I heard a different message. I was taught how to become a Christian within the church. The first thing for me to always remember is, “His purpose was to save us not from pain and suffering, but from meaninglessness” (page 31). And because of that I’ve had to repent because I strongly connected to the words on page 109 that read, “we choose political and secular vehicles to try to advance our cultural values, strangely attempting to make unbelieving people act like civilized believers.” So many times I’ve been the person I despise the most. God has called me to be a member of the church so I can reach out. If I’m not within the body of Christ, I have no place to reach out of. My heart has been re-cultivated. I still have a passion for the lost and I feel God has called me to be an active member in evangelizing to a secular crowd. The Barbarian Way has without a doubt called me out of my comfort zone, but instead of being called into the world, I have been called into the church. I want to be a barbaric Christian connected with the barbarians around me.

..just a few thoughts I had. As a challenge to your faith, heart, and mind, I recommend Erwin McManus' The Barbarian Way

a leader being lead

For the past few months I have been helping lead a small group of 7th and 8th grade girls. From day 1 I have loved every moment. Getting to know the girls and seeing their hearts has been a true blessing. Yesterday one of those girls got baptized. She comes from a strong Christian family and has been an obvious leader since I met her. But, when she stepped into the baptistry and I watched the other girls surround her in support, it hit me that all of these young girls have such an impact on each other and the world around them. It immediately became and continues to be my prayer that God reveal his plan to the lives of each and every girl in my group. If I could just get myself out of the way for the hour i'm them every week, God could work in such great ways in all of their lives. Sometimes I worry that I'm not teaching them enough, or spending enough hours preparing for each lesson. But, I was reminded that it's not my words they need to hear, it's God's. I have learned so much from Jr. High girls. I may be the leader, but so often I'm the one being lead in their example. I've found it's not about the age of the individual, it's about her heart lead by Christ. Through that we become brothers and sisters, equally saved by the greatness of God.