Want to be my friend?

I'm in dire need of a friend. Well, maybe a man. Yup, that would solve all of my problems. Someone to buy me chocolates that I have no use for except to save for an inevitable later date when i will use them to drown my sorrows. Yes, I need a man. Friends, those are great, but they get boyfriends. And then suddenly times like the 4th of July become nothing but an excuse for laying on a blanket amidst a dark night. Where am I in all of this? Eating the chocolates from last year. I should prolly put a small disclaimer on all of this. You don't need to call my parents out of concern. I'm actually writing this with a smile. A bitter smile? haha perhaps. None the less, a smile. Strangely, I'm perfectly content being single and having my mom as a friend. I'm actually pretty pumped about all of this. I get to do something my friends don't. I get to watch fireworks; forget the blanket, my eyes will be on the sky.